A fresh new face {TAG: Eva}

"Yeah, I guess," Eva nodded reluctantly. She should be grateful, it was just hard when she hadn't had a decent meal in weeks. She missed the jam, the fruit, the wine. She missed the luxuries she had grown accustomed to. Anyone would find it hard, that all being stripped from you. "Though in C Division, you don't have... her." Her fingers twisted to point in the direction of the woman's head propped onto the bench. Nonetheless, she would probably rather have the head and a decent bed, than neither.

It took her only a moment to realise which prisoner she meant, Mulan was the only person she had ruffled the feathers of, as of yet.

"I think her feathers are permanently ruffled," Eva laughed a little. "She'll get used to it though, being in prison. It's only a matter of time before she learns she can't act that way." She wondered if she'd learned that lesson already.

"Oh she's definitely serving her time," Helga added, snickering. "She's currently rotting in the Isolation Cell. And hopefully now she'll learn to have respect and maturity." She shook her head at the woman. Although, she never met her and never got a chance to actually see for herself the woman's behavior- she didn't plan on it.

Silence emerged the room and it seemed like no one spoke or made a sound for minutes. Helga looked up at the woman. She felt so mixed at the moment. She started to have feelings for Jane when they talked for hours and when it seemed as if Jane filled the hole in Helga's heart, which had been missing for so long. Jane cared for her as no one else had done before. But now she looks at Eva and can feel the warmth in her eyes as she felt with Jane. But this time was different. Helga liked Jane because she never knew what love or friendship could feel like. But now that Jane was gone, it felt as if the hole had grown bigger and stronger. And at the moment, Helga was using Eva to fill it, whether she meant to or not.

But Helga knew her limits. She cared for Eva and did not want to see her have the same fate as Jane did. Helga felt cold again, numb all over her body. She stepped back a bit from the cell. "We can't do this," she whispered, everything seemed so similar.

"Yeah I thought she might wind up somewhere like that if she didn't watch herself," Eva sighed. She was actually quite disappointed in Mulan, she had a lot of potential if she could just get over that brash attitude of hers. She had never felt threatened by her, she could take her down easily. That was never the problem. It was just the way she didn't seem to know how to relax, how to be patient and controlled. That was a trait that Eva could never deal with particularly well.

Eva realised they had both gone silent. They were looking at each other in a way that confused her. Her stomach began to feel slightly tingly inside and she felt her hand reach for it spontaneously. She felt so childlike and vulnerable in that moment. She had never had feelings for someone before, or being in a relationship. She didn't know how these sorts of things worked. Whatever she was involved in usually, she was always in control. This time, she wasn't. She didn't really know how to deal with that. Instead, she forced her eyes away from Helga and tried to concentrate on breathing slowly. A function she seemed to have forgotten how to do in those few moments.

"What?" Eva looked up, her expression instantly hardened, all trace of emotion vanished from her face. She saw Helga take a step backwards. For once, she was trying to analyse and understand the situation but failing. She never failed, she always knew what other people were thinking. Why was this time so different? Her forehead creased as she felt a dull ache expand inside her body. She wasn't sure if she was hurt or scared. Helga was the first person she had been able to talk to honestly, and now, was she going to leave? That seemed like such a childish thought. She was an independent, young woman and could look after herself, she didn't need a guard or anyone else to help her. Right.

Helga shook her head and she felt beads of sweat forming on her forehead. "We can't do this," she repeated, more quickly this time. She scanned the room for cameras, but still none were in sight. "I just don't want to see you get hurt.." She whispered, nearly inaudible. She wanted to stay so bad and be able to talk to the woman and pour her feelings out to her but she knew she just couldn't. The cost was too high and Eva was way to sweet and caring to die this young.

Helga looked up and saw the disappointment in Eva's eyes. "You know this is wrong." She whispered. "You know we can't be friends.. It's just too.. risky." Helga struggled to find the right words. She didn't want to hurt the woman in any way.

Eva was still a little confused when Helga repeated herself. Her face was stiff and unsure, she remained unmoving at the other side of the door, peering through the window. Sinclair seemed to be looking around for something and that was what stimulated Eva's realisation that she was worried about Korso. She would've been a liar to say he didn't scare her, but she also didn't intend on letting her life pass her by in prison. If she was going to die, she wasn't going to die with any regrets.

"And if we don't do this, if we don't talk.." Eva took an intake of breath before continuing. "Who is going to look after my sanity?" She laughed, trying to be light-hearted but her words felt heavy. Helga was the only source of decent human company she had experienced whilst in prison. They seemed to get along together well. Eva wasn't sure why, perhaps it was simply because everyone felt a little unstable in prison, but she reached through the gap and took the guards hand in hers.

"I can look after myself," Eva forced a strong smile, brushing her fingers along the top of Helga's palm. They had only been talking for a few hours, or perhaps it was longer than that, she couldn't be certain. However, she could be certain that they had only ever met once and perhaps she was allowing herself to become too attached. She didn't even know the guard properly. She withdrew her hand slowly. For once, Eva was uncertain about something. Helga made her question things, perhaps that was why she felt drawn to her. She made her question everything.

"If I'm to die in here, I don't want any regrets," Eva's eyes became strong and focused, her body straightened and she felt more herself. She wasn't used to being weak. Caring for someone made you weak, yet, Helga seemed to only make her stronger. Perhaps that was pathetic, yes, that was definitely pathetic.

[OOC: Everytime I reply to Helga, my posts get longer v.v" I am too inspired by these two. <3]

Helga flicked her eyes up when Eva touched her hand. At that moment, she forgot about Korso, she forgot about Jane, she forgot about all her troubles. All she thought about was Eva and how soft her touch was, how soothing it was. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to let the comfort sink in. But the woman withdrew her hand. Helga opened her eyes and stared at her. She tried to laugh at Eva's attempt to lighten the mood but she still felt sick.

Helga longed for compassion. As a child, she was never shown any love from her father or family. All she grew up with, all she knew- was strict rules with punishments if one were to disobey. Then she came here and was shown kindness and friendship from Jane. But now Jane was gone, and Eva began to take her place and show kindness and love. Helga couldn't refuse. But she knew that it would be so selfish of her to love Eva and have her killed.

Helga looked at the ground. Her eyes stung as if tears were about to come. She didn't have the courage to face the woman. "Eva," she said, unaware that she actually said the prisoner's name. "Eva, I need to tell you something." She finally looked up into the woman's eyes. Helga knew she was being desperate, but these were desperate times. She reached through the bars and grabbed her hands softly. "Last time I got close, last time I felt like this.." She started to say. "I-" Helga could barely think it, let alone said it. "I got that person killed." She looked down to the floor and released her hands.

"You have made me feel less alone these past few hours. But I can't do that to you, I can't get you killed. Not again." She bit her lip to contain the tears. She was taught to never appear weak, to always be the stronger person. But Helga was never faced with losing someone she loved.

{OOC: Yes I agree!! Their personalities are so cute <3}

The silence between them when their hands were touching made Eva feel uncomfortable. She wasn't sure whether to say something or look away, whether to keep quiet or pull her closer. This was all new to her and perhaps that was part of the reason she pulled away. She wasn't used to human contact that was genuine, someone being close to her who she wasn't trying to manipulate. She was also scared, what if she was being manipulated? The fact that may be even possible made her feel weak and uncertain. She wasn't used to feeling vulnerable and she didn't like it.

When Helga declared how she needed to tell her something, Eva felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Was this all a trick? Had she been fool enough to fall for it? Perhaps this guard had only been instructed to get close to her, to talk to her for a few hours and gain her trust, just to break it. This could all be a mind game of some sort. She frowned, now she was being delusional. Surely not everyone had some ulterior motive?

Eva's eyes shot up when Helga explained how the last person she was close to was killed. She faltered backwards, unsure what to say. Why? How? When? She wasn't scared of dying, she was scared of being used, emotionally and mentally tortured. She could deal with physical pain to an extent, everyone had their pain threshold and hers was obviously breakable, but high. She always knew her weakness lay with her emotions which is why she had constructed so many different identities. Never let anyone get too close. Hadn't that always been her motto?

Eva barely noticed or flinched when Helga took hold of her hands, she was too busy concentrating on what she was saying. If she had been paying attention, she would have felt the unfamiliar butterflies lurching inside her stomach.

"Did you kill them?" Eva's voice came out little more than a hoarse whisper, so she coughed to try and clear her throat. Standing a little taller. She wasn't sure why that question was the first one that popped into her head, but it was. If the answer was yes... What did that mean? Was she one of those guards who liked to toy with the prisoners, then kill them? She started to stiffen herself, close herself off from any previous things she might have felt for Helga. Bracing herself for the answer.

Eva chewed on the inside of her lip as the guard explained how she couldn't do that to her, couldn't get her killed. Did she believe her? She noticed Helga's eyes begin to fill up and she wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't the emotional type.

"Don't start crying on me now, Helga," Eva used the guard's name, only realising when she said it how Helga too had stopped referring to her as a number. Maybe that meant something, or then again, maybe it didn't. People were tricky things. Things she had learned how to understand, how to analyse. Why was all that knowledge fading so fast now? "I was just starting to like you." She laughed awkwardly, not sure if this was a laughing moment. Instinctively, her hand reached up and brushed the blonde's cheek, wiping away any tears that may have fallen.

"Don't let him win," Eva shook her head fiercely. "You're stronger than that."



(OH MY GOODNESS. LOOK WHAT I DID. Helga/Eva are ruining my life Q.Q)

Helga took a step back away from the woman. "Yes," she whispered, anger in her eyes. "I killed her. Korso made me." She turned her back to the woman and folded her arms. She felt so weak, she had never cried so often in her life. Her father once told her, that if a tear was to fall, then so was her dignity. But Helga didn't care. Too many emotions were coming to her at once. She lifted her hand up to her head and pressed on her temples.

"You don't know him, Eva." Helga said harshly. "You don't know what he's capable of. Just when you think you know what he'll do, just when you think you've started to understand him.. He'll pull the rug from under you."

Helga couldn't help but be angry. "Have you ever killed someone you cared for? Someone who was the only light in your life?" She said, turning back to face the woman. "Now the light is gone and you're drowning in darkness, desperately trying to stay alive."

None of it was Eva's fault, Helga knew that. But she couldn't help but take her anger out somewhere. "God," Helga banged her hand against the bars. "Who the fuck is he to tell me who I can or can't be with." She looked into Eva's eyes, her heart racing, her head pounding. "Well screw it." She said roughly.

Before she could think, before anyone could say anything. Helga grabbed Eva's collar and pulled her closer to her. And before Eva could take a second to realize what was happening, Helga kissed her. She kissed her hard and rough. She didn't care anymore. She felt another tear run down her face but she let it fall. All she could think about was Korso. But that fueled her fire. She even hoped he was watching. She hoped that son-of-a-bitch was watching.

(This is a plea to Ylva, if she is reading, please don't plan anymore beheadings v.v" If she isn't reading.. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing at this moment in time xD)

"No-one can make you do anything," Eva frowned, she felt her heart beating faster as she grew angrier. As soon as Helga had said she'd killed her, the temper had fallen over her. There was nothing to excuse killing someone you cared for, loyalty meant everything to Eva and she could not imagine ever committing a betrayal like that.

"I've met him and I'm pretty sure I know what he's capable of Helga," Her tone became terse. She knew what it was like, she knew a twisted man when she met one - she had met plenty before. There was no use trying to tell her she didn't know things either, that just made her stubborn. "Don't get to know him! Who do you think he is, your friend? Never trust him of all people, never think you know someone like that." She shook her head, she wasn't sure what she was more angry at. The fact Helga had killed someone she cared about, the fact she'd let herself care about a guard for those few moments, the fact she'd been so foolish or the fact Helga had. She desperately tried to stay grounded, her hot temper was one of her flaws which she had desperately tried to work on over the years. She should have known prison would test it.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Eva shouted in frustration, spinning around on her heel so she didn't have to look at the guard. Helga was talking about being the light in someones life, having someone you cared about but Eva had never really had anyone like that. She had never had a light. She didn't understand the significance of the metaphors the guard had begun spouting. Sure, she had read about love and things but never understood it, never experienced it.

It was then Helga's turn to get angry, but not at her, at Korso. She turned back to face her, uncertain at the sudden change of heart. She would've smiled, proud of her decision if she wasn't still so angry, so stubborn. Before she could catch her breath, Helga's hands were gripping her collar and pulling their lips together. Her eyes widened in shock for a moment, she was angry, yet... Her fingers twisted into Helga's hair, pulling her closer. She wasn't delicate or gentle, her frustration made her passionate and rough. When they finally pulled apart, she felt like her lungs were burning and her insides were on fire. Stepping backwards out of sheer shock, she realised what kissing should feel like. It should feel like that. All those times she had been with people, it had never felt real or pleasant or given her the sensation she felt with Helga. It was always so predictable, but this wasn't. This was so unpredictable, so uncertain - and it scared her.

Helga exhaled deeply and held onto the bars of the cell tightly. Her mind was racing, her heart was beating faster than it's ever done before. What just happened? She looked up at the woman who was in as much shock as she was. Helga bit her lip to contain herself from smiling. She felt so alive, so real. She couldn't explain the way she felt.

She thought to what Korso would be planning to do to her when he found out. But Eva's words rang in her head. She really would rather die with no regrets. She felt free and alive for the first time since she was a child. She knew it was wrong- being with a woman let alone a prisoner. But she didn't care. All these emotions and feelings were running through her head, she couldn't make sense of them. She felt light-headed and nauseated.

Helga stepped away from the cell and had a blank expression on her face. "I-I.." She didn't know what to say. There were no words to be said. She rubbed the back of her neck. What did we just do? She had let her emotions control her actions. How selfish she was. How stupid. Helga just stood there shaking her head. It felt as if her head was about to explode, it was throbbing so hard. She felt sick. She felt a mix of pleasure and regret. No, no, no. "I'm sorry," Helga said, slowly baking away.

There was a drawn out silence. Neither of them said anything for a long while. Eva's mind was racing, she was ecstatic and horrified all at the same time. What was worse, they were now in danger. She was used to that though, and a small part of her had actually missed the adrenaline rush - not that she'd care to admit it. Surely that wasn't normal.

When Helga apologised, Eva blinked slowly. It took her a while to digest the two simple words, everything seemed so confusing now and so different.

"Don't apologise," Eva shook her head and forced a small smile. Whatever had happened, she didn't regret it. She had wanted it to happen too. "If you hadn't, I would have." She admitted truthfully. It felt awkward, she wasn't used to opening up to people and telling them how she felt. She was still stiff and tense, unsure how to act or what to say.

This was all happening so fast, it was such a rush and terrifying all at the same time. Yet, she didn't want it to slow down. She knew she wasn't in love, not this fast. That would be crazy and stupid. She did care about Helga though, and clearly there were some feelings between them. Maybe, in any other environment they could grow - but surely not here. It would make her weak. Hell, she was already weak. Caring was a weakness. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, closing her eyes for a moment and trying to regain some sense of normality.

When Eva opened her eyes again, she found Helga still there. She smiled softly, still not knowing what to say.

Helga frowned a bit. She knew what she wanted. But it wasn't good. She felt so alive with Eva, she wanted to stay with her. She wasn't in love, she barely knew the woman. But she felt something electric inside her, something she's never felt before. But she knew it wasn't the right thing to do. She feared Korso more than she could ever care for someone. But most of all she feared that she would have to kill yet another person she cared for.

Helga straightened her shirt a bit and stepped away from Eva. "This can't happen. The cost is too high." She whispered. She looked up at the walls again. She knew she had to face Korso. But she wasn't going to let him come get her. She was going to go to him, bringing what dignity she has left. "I should go," she said softly. "I promise, no bad will come to you." Of course she didn't know that for sure. But she was going to do everything in her power to not let Korso hurt her. Helga was going to pay this time. No one else but her.

"Are we talking about Korso now? I can hardly keep up," Eva stated bitterly, knowing full well what she was meaning. She meant, she had changed her mind again. It was like she had just decided to jump on board an emotional rollercoaster, they seemed to have just hit the big drop.

"That's real big of you Hels," Eva looked at her blankly, dropping all expression from her face and placing her hands on her hips. She didn't even realise that amidst her anger, she had adopted a nickname for the guard. Perhaps she should be grateful, that Helga was promising nothing bad would happen to her. Yet, she wasn't worried about that. She was annoyed with her for leaving. Kissing her and then disappearing. After everything had been so different, this was the same, the same as everyone else she had been with. It made her feel used, because for once, she wasn't doing the using.

Helga smiled a bit when Eva gave her a nickname. She was so sweet, so irresistible. It was hard for Helga to go. She looked apologetically to her. "I will try to come back if I can.." She whispered, her voice very low. "I need to go talk to him. I can't live like this."

She started to walk away but turned around to face the woman. She quickly walked back and took Eva's hand in her own. "I won't forget you, Eva." She slowly let go of her hand and started to back up. "No matter what happens." As cliche as it sounded, Helga meant every word. All she wanted to do was protect Eva, she had been so confused. But she made up her mind. She was going to go to Korso and receive her punishment.

Eva was torn between telling Helga to 'piss off' or 'be careful'. She wasn't usually this confused about how she felt or suffering such mixed emotions. She shouldn't have opened up to her, but it was too late now. When Helga said she was intending to go and see Korso, her chest tightened uncertainly. This could end badly.

"You idiot," Eva's voice came out as barely more than a whisper as she reluctantly looked up at her. She felt like a child who had been denied their favourite toy. She despised being so scared, so vulnerable but no-one had ever even come close to her before, no-one had cared enough to even ask how she was most of the time. "Be careful." The latter remark came out even quieter than the former.

"Don't," Eva raised a warning glance as she realised Helga was about to say her goodbyes. She refused to believe that the first time she had met her, would also be her last. She was also still so unsure how to respond to such open kindness. "I'll see you later, kay?" She smiled before giving a small salute and returning to the bunks. She didn't look back, she hated farewells.

Helga watched Eva turn to go to her bunk. She watched her walk away and wondered if that would indeed be the last time she saw her. She bit her lip and looked down to the floor. Maybe she was an idiot. Maybe she was about to get them both killed. But she knew what she had to do. Helga sighed and turned on her heel, sluggishly walking down the hall. Her heart was beating faster than ever and she couldn't control her breathing.

She felt so stupid. Why did she have to go and confuse everything with her and Eva. She shook her head and rubbed her temples. She was going to fix this. She had to. Eva didn't deserve this. SHe deserved so much better.

[OOC: Pfft, you don't think I read everything? Dw, no more beheadings, those were getting boring anyway xDD I got other punishments in mind... ]

[OOC: I was hoping you didn't xDD Idk why that comment made me laugh because I got excited.. I really like torturing my characters too much >.< Though I don't want anyone to die >.> XDD]

DDDDDDDDD:

Q.Q

*cries in corner*

[Did you not see this before now? ]

(OOC: No, I wasn't on at the weekend and I have read this before, like a stalker, but this didn't happen before Friday >.>)

(OOC: By this, you mean the kiss? XDD)

(OOC: Yes v.v)

(OOC: I know, I can't believe there is relationship drama already :3)

Awwww Q.Q *cuddles from Jane and Eva* To be fair, Helga thinks Jane is dead..