long time no speak || tag: C3

(OOC: Lame title, sorry xDD)

The hours of the night seemed to slip through her fingertips, each hour passing like a single second. She was still trying to remember the details of the last game...but it was all fuzzy. No memory was clear.
It was dark...cages hanging from the trees with...bodies. The smell, the gut wrenching stench of dying flesh. That was clear. But the people, the dead or alive. Each one was a blur.
Meg shook her head to get out of the fog. She was in a cell. Again.
There was bound to be someone near who was there. Hopefully.
She stood up and walked over to the wall, lightly tapping on it with her fist. Mary wouldn't be very happy if Meg woke her up. She was unstable enough. "Hello? Anyone awake over there?"

"Kid..Mulan,"
"You know my life ambition is to annoy the hell outta you."
"All I need to know is whether or not you're going to turn into a raging beast at night and try to kill me in my sleep. And, if your answer to that is yes, I will lock you in the bathroom and/or drown you in the bathtub as soon as I have a chance."
"You'll be all right." "Will you be all right?"

Mulan gasps as she wakes up. The mattress under her face was wet. She sits up. Her braid falls apart on her exposed back. She missed Sinbad. She missed him a lot. She presses her face against the wall and starts to cry to herself until she hears a familiar voice. Her head jerks up in surprise. She knew the voice, now she had to match the face. Megara. "MJ? What are you doing up?" She sniffles.

Meg smiled as she heard a familiar voice from the other side. "Mulan, nice to hear from you again...I couldn't sleep."
She had heard the soft sniffled and knew that sound all too well. The sound of heartbreak. "Are you alright? Is anything wrong?" She leaned against the wall to hear better.
She didn't know Mulan very well, but after all they have been through together, it was nice to hear that she was still alive.

"Huh?" Mulan wipes her eyes. "Yeah... Yeah I'm fine. No, nothing's wrong." Mulan takes silent breath. "I'm surprised you're even still talking to me. I was such a bitch to you... not that I'm not one now."

Meg couldn't help but laugh. "You must have had a hard time, so I don't really mind. Even I do it sometimes." She was trying to make Mulan feel better, even though they couldn't see each other. She was obviously upset, but it was better not to pry.

"Yeah. I've got a pretty shit life." Mulan nods. "It almost isn't fair. But I guess this is what happens to anger managed murderers. If someone would've told me my life would end up like this, I would have changed it. If I could've." Mulan flips her hair out of her face.

"Wouldn't we all?"
It isn't fair. How everything ended up.
If she could've changed anything, it would have happened years and years ago. Before her parent's murder..before now. But it was too late.
The past is in the past.

"At one point I would've said no and insulted your intelligence." Mulan presses her forehead against the wall and her hair falls on the sides of her head; encasing her like a wall on each side. "But, I'm just so tired of being angry all the time. But that's all I feel at this point. And pain. Lots and lots of pain."

Meg slid down the wall, resting her back against it. "I wish there was something I could do to help you...do you want to talk about it?"
She had no idea what Mulan was going through. It was something that obviously was enough to break a strong girl like her. Damn it Korso...she's just a kid.

Mulan wipes her eyes again. "There's nothing to talk about MJ. It had all crumbled before I even set foot in this place. I guess it was just intensified when I got here. He's ruthless you know? I just-... I just miss Sinbad. He was killed in one of those fucking games. And I've got this cellmate. She's a newbie and she's hellbent on escape. I tell her it isn't gonna work, as calmly as I can. Telling her what goes on and she just loses it, so naturally, I lose it. And I want to help her but I mean it just... it doesn't work. It won't work." Mulan finds herself crying again.

"It'll be alright. It can't get much worse now. He doesn't have much more to take away from us." Meg had never met Sinbad, but by the sounds of it, they must have been close. God forbid something like that happens to Dimitri...if she lost him, there was no telling what she would do.
She caught her fists clenching as she was long in thought and quickly tried to think of something else. Maybe Mulan wouldn't be so upset if they talked about the newbies. "Hey, let's see if we can make the most of this huh? You have a newbie in your cell too?"

Make the most of what? Has MJ lost it?

"Yeah. Annoying too. Like everyone else, I'm not taken seriously because of my age. I don't care though. She can kill her own self with this escape plan bullshit. I have to kill some people first. Helga's number one... for now." Mulan smiles sadly. It wouldn't do anything and she knew it. At the end of the day she knew Sinbad was dead. And he was never coming back. Killing Helga could only bring personal gratification... if she was lucky enough. And she had a feeling- She wasn't.

Sounds like the average newbie... "Same over here..well, sort of. Seems kind of irritable a majority of the time."
When Mulan mentioned her plans, she couldn't help but feel sad for the girl. Revenge was tricky business. "Just be careful. Revenge can....end up hurting more than helping. Trust me...Just don't get yourself killed."

"Yeah I know. I wish I didn't feel like I have to. Like it's my obligation to kill her. But I get this feeling that if and once I do it won't have even been worth the trouble in the first place but.." Mulan touches her hand her nearly bare chest, palming her heart. "I'll try anything to make this pain away."

That was something Meg could easily relate to. She experienced the same pain...she still does. If she succeeded at her revenge..would she feel the same? Would she feel better?
She shook her head again. Her thoughts were getting the best of her.
"It's never an obligation. It may feel like one, but it all depends on what you are willing to risk to avenge what you've already lost. Are you willing to lose more?"

"I've nothing to lose except my life. Anyone else I know can take care of themselves. I'm not needed." Mulan says to Megara. "I just want answers. That's all... have you wanted revenge? Is that why you're talking like that?" She asks curiously.

Meg sat silently for a few moments, running her fingertips along the cracks in the floor.
Have you wanted revenge?
"Revenge...is the reason that I am here. The reason that I threw away my whole life just because I was obsessed. I'm still trying to decide whether it was worth it..."
She felt tears stinging her eyes as she thought about her parents. It had been so long, their faces were beginning to blur. Revenge caused this....and she was stupid enough to let it ruin her.

Mulan closes her eyes. The tears has stopped falling. Finally. "I'm sorry... But I guess since I'm at the end, I might as well... But my only friend used to say, 'The end is the beginning is the end.'"

Meg smiled a little at the phrase. "Smart friend...."
The end is the beginning is the end.
That seemed to fit everything around them. Every day was a new end...a new beginning. Each swap, each game, each death.

"I don't think so. She could've been. I guess maybe she was too nice to me. That's what makes her dumb." Mulan shrugs. "Did you have any friends MJ? You know, before prison."

Meg closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall. "Before prison? No...All alone for thirteen years or so. I've lost track of how long it's been. It's hard to make friends when you're running."
Every week was a new place, a new street, a new town. It was a tough life but prison is better than being dead. Maybe.

"Oh that sucks." In a sense, she knew how she felt. She had no one after her father was kidnapped. Then Kaila came along and the bullying still persisted. Then they started bullying her and there were even more fights, then there was the alternative education... She really did wish she could've had friends her whole life. Instead of just one.

"It had it's perks. There was nothing to tie me to one place. I could go wherever I wanted." Well...almost anywhere.
She wiped a tear from her cheek and opened her eyes. She had to think of reality.

That doesn't sound fun at all. Maybe some people or just natural gypsies.
"I'd give anything to belong somewhere. With someone. To just... not be alone." Mulan confesses. "I've been alone so long it feels like everything just gets darker and darker."

"That's why you find something to make it a little brighter. Something you love to do..something you could never do before."
That's how she had gotten into singing in the first place. It reminder her of home during the hard times. Made her feel strong when she was scared. It was something to empower her. Make her invincible.